During my first year of study in SMAN 10 Malang, I don’t know, I just felt
there was competitive atmospher surround me. It’s okay if it just a competitive
atmospher, I could receive and keep enjoy with it. But the problem was, I felt
the pressure, it weren’t only because my competitor (the other students) but
also the teachers and the school.
Yeah, IGCSE was my curriculumn at
that time, they said it’s kinda practicing level of english to prepare us when
we want to continue study abroad. Everybody including me got enthusiastic for
this. Although I underestimate it because the material was easy, i keep study a
little about it. I dare to say that was easy because I’ve already got it in
junior high school and I just make summaries about it except for chemistry (I
never got it in my junior high school). Because I lazy study that thing and I
found no interest on it. Doing homework and study when there will be a test
were my common activities before the intensive preparation for IGCSE test
begin. And I planned to get A* on my physics. Among all subjects of IGCSE, I
only concern about physics because there were some materials that I haven’t
learn in the junior high school. For almost one week before the IGCSE test, I started to make a print out
of physics exercise, make summaries, and ask the teacher to give extra hour to
study.
Finally the time came, for almost
one year studying IGCSE, I have to face
the test on May-June 2012. Okay, nervous and a little bit dazed. Honestly, I
don’t really feel well-prepared. But, come on, wake up! Tomorrow is ur big day,
and I have mathematic at the first day. And so on, time goes by...
When Mrs. Novi informed us about the
result via e-mail. I got a little bit afraid and nervous. Then I got A* for
math, A for biology and physics, C for english and chemistry.
Its okay if I get bad on my
chemistry because I don’t care, I’ve already “put my hand off”. So I don’t got
dissapointed at all because of this. One thing that make me dissapointed was my
physics score. I just got A, it doesn’t mean that I am unthankful person, but
it just out of my prediction. I struggle for it more than the other subjects,
instead I got A* on my math score. I never study about math anyway. That’s what
make me feel dissapointed. I don’t know, why that’s kinda thing happen.
I am a moody person, so that time I
got badmood all the day because of it. Three days passed, but I still not in a
good mood. Facing the truth is not easy. I kept abjure the fact. When everybody
expect and predict me got A*, I don’t got it. Yeah, its kinda debacle for me. I
don’t know, what I gonna do then, I felt qualm.
Time goes by, I got calm and relax,
then I reliazed that its proper score for me. Although I struggle more for this
subject, but I kept relax, it seemed like I underestimate it. I’ve studied but
not serious. When compare to the others, maybe my buffetings is just one over hundreds of theirs. They
study until late or even until dawn came. Everyday almost all of the students
do this. But I don’t do that, although I have test tomorrow, I ‘just’ study
until 8 or 9 p.m. I just realized it. How pity I am.
Then, I know what shoul I do then, I
won’t wait the same door open for twice, but I’ll search another doors open.
Yeah, thats my quote now. To reform my habit, I’ll use my leisure time to study
and the important one is I’ll study more intensive. I’ll control my emotion, so
that I won’t got easily mad or angry to someone even something. When my emotion
stable, I can learn more focus and being so unbearable when I’m studying.
That are what the people suppose to do in their life ! :)
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